I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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