What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
