So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize