Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
