You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
