did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize