Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
