I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
