You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
