dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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