kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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