I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
