Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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