well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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