stop calling my apartment porn island.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
This is my life. Enjoy the view
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
