I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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