Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize