he puts the penis in happiness.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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