In the future we'll all be gay
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
