Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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