I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
