I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I need a burrito and a hug.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
