there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
What drink are we having for lunch?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
