i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
