idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
