so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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