i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I need to calm my uterus...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
