Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
