I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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