Clothes are such an inconvenience.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
