did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
