I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize