Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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