I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
