I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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