I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
