He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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