Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
