I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I wish I could punch you in the face.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
