addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize