My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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