Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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