A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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