Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
