Im at strip club and am horny
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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