i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
