just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
