I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
