It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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