Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
