dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
