Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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