It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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