I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
How external is "for external use only"?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
