ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
