somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
