Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
