I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
