She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
