there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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