So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize