WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
