some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
