i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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