He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
